So, you know your best friend is bonkers when, one day, you innocently send them a Telegram and this conversation happens.
Like, I can’t even. What kind of friend starts a durian business just, like, out of the blue. KNOWING that their best friend is dying in the UK without access to durians, especially during a particularly great season when durians are amazing and cheap and everyone on Facebook is letting you know it, with their durian statuses every single day?
Honestly. People in Singapore, you shuddup about durians now or… or… face my wrath! Eh? I shall… scold you! Hey? How would you like that? Face my scoldage if you do not cease and desist the durian posts immediately!
Alright, now that you have all been properly scolded, I shall be a good friend and talk about Wen’s durians for a bit. (Still angry!)
One day, like, so recently, Wen and her equally bonkers husband looked at each other and went, “Hey, let’s sell durians!” “Okay!”
Just like that. As if being two-month-newly-weds weren’t enough excitement.
So they woke up the next day and started a durian delivery business called Durian Fever. Without telling me.
Wen says her durians are damn good. Yeah, rub it in. They only deal in the Mao Shan Wang variety, which is the best, in my opinion. I do trust her taste because she and I are really fussy about durians and we always went out of our way and paid top dollar for the best.
So far, I hear that business is doing well. One day, a government agency randomly rang up to order tons of vacuum packed durians for a foreign army to take back home. What?
I am all kinds of jealous, stuck in the UK where the only durians you can get are probably dodgy frozen ones that cost a bomb and taste like whatever durian-hating Westerners say durians taste like after being fed lousy cheap ones.
Oh, yeah, incidentally, today is my birthday. I wish I were in Singapore because I really want durians! But I haven’t celebrated my birthday in Singapore since 2010. I haven’t had a birthday cake in eight years. (I’m fussy about cakes, too.)
That’s okay, and there’s no need to wish me a happy birthday. Just go order some delicious durians from Naughty Wen. You can get a friend discount if you quote “Sheylara”. I’ll be very jealous but never mind, I’ll live.
Okay, I need to go have some fun now to take my mind off certain things!
And, here, I dug up an old photo of me and Wen for old times’ sake. This was taken in Genting Highlands nine years ago! We were so young and carefree, lol. (And I could have all the cake and durian I wanted.)
Then, don’t tell me about it!!