7:30 am

We are on the way to Leeds for Piers’ annual company dinner. It’s a 4.5-hour drive.

So early, we were bound to forget things. I forgot to bring Tofu, my pink mini bolster (who looks like a pink tofu). I totally forgot my dress and Piers almost forgot his suit. We’d had them stored in garment bags, ready to go.

Piers had already packed our suitcase in the car earlier, then only remembered the outfits just before we were leaving for the last time.

8:00 am

The network coverage in England highways is bad. It’s on GPRS most of the time, sometimes EDGE, so I can’t tweet. Am typing this on my iPad and will post on my blog later.

8:20 am

We’re driving in convoy with two of Piers’ colleagues, Steve and David. They have walkie talkies and they’re playing with it excitedly, pretending to be secret agents or something and chattering useless things over the channel.

It’s good to know that people never really grow up.

8:30 am

We just drove past a structure. It’s a short and wide cylindrical building with two or three thinner buildings around it. Piers went, “Honey! That’s a nuclear plant!”

“It is not!” I said, “You haven’t got nuclear facilities in England!”

“Google it!” he said, “We’re now in Oxford.”

I told him I can’t google because the network sucks and we’re still on GPRS. You can try loading a webpage but it takes forever to load and then it times out before it loads.

“Yeah,” said Piers, “That’s because of the radiation from the nuclear.”

You should know that we are currently watching 24. We just finished with Season 6 last night. I think Piers fancies himself to be living in one of Jack Bauer’s crises.

8:45 am

We’ve stopped for breakfast at a Waitrose rest stop. It has a small Waitrose supermarket, a KFC and a Starbucks. I ate precooked buttermilk pancakes, which were horrible.

The boys got fresh batteries for their walkies. Oh dear.

9:35 am

We’re off again. Walkie talkies now have fresh batteries and the boys are playing at outlaws and cops. They each have a code name. I suppose I shouldn’t tell you the names cos I could get killed.

Luckily, David has brought his wife, Ellie, so there’s at least one other sane person in the convoy.

Approximately 3.5 hours more to destination.

9:50 am

Piers just swerved to avoid a pheasant that was crossing the road. I didn’t see it because I actually can’t see the road from where I’m sat.

Olive’s car seat is kinda low (or maybe the dashboard high) so when I’m comfortably settled in it, all I can see are the horizon and sky.

Anyway, the pheasant managed to cross the road safely, narrowly avoiding all the cars that went its way.

10:00 am

Walkie talkie talk:

“Snowman! Scout ahead and keep your eyes peeled for smokies. Copy that?”

Oops. Did I just give away one of their code names?

10:05 am

Morrison’s truck spotted.

“We are nearing our destination. We haven’t got scum supermarkets in the South.”

10:10 am

“I recommend you all keep your windows shut and doors locked. We are now entering the North.”

I find the friendly rivalry between different states or regions in large countries very amusing.

10:18 am

Oh dear. I need the toilet again. ETA to destination is at least 2.5 hours from now.

10:32 am

Dare I hope the boys have tired of their game? They are talking like normal human beings again.

10:35 am

Maybe not. Just heard Piers say something about driving in formation when the traffic gets lighter.

11:06 am

No formation driving. The traffic has been quite heavy all the way. Not jam-packed heavy, but enough so we have to go at just below speed limit.

We’ve lost Steve. Last time we saw him, he was 10 cars behind.

11:08 am

I typed just a bit too soon. Piers just weaved into the middle lane to let David pass him, then he quickly closed back into the fast lane. He claimed that that was formation driving.

11:09 am

“Snowman! Snowman! Come in! Do you read me, Snowman!”

Silence.

“We have lost visual and radio contact with Snowman.”

Oops, did I give away Snowman’s identity?

11:11 am

Snowman has reappeared.

“We have reestablished radio contact with Snowman!”

“Welcome back, Snowman!”

11:17 am

“Smokey alert!”

“Smokey to the left overhead!”

“All teams break radio contact until Smokey is gone!”

11:18 am

“Smokey is turning out at next rest stop!”

“Smokey’s gone to get a doughnut.”

11:23 am

We’re passing by Sherwood Forest, where Robin Hood lives. “Lives”, as according to Piers.

Me: “Does he still live there now?”

Him: “Yes.”

Piers also tells me the forest is haunted.

11:27 am

55 miles to Leeds!

I have no idea what that is in kilometres. Okay a scant idea: Something like x1.5?

I also don’t know why England uses miles instead of kilometres. The English seem a bit half hearted about adopting the metric system.

11:35 am

We just passed by a smelly area and my mind thinks cow dung. But I can’t be sure it is.

That’s one reason I’m scared to have kids. Parents are supposed to know everything, right, because children ask questions all the time?

I’m not sure kids can grow up feeling safe and secure if their parents, in trying not to misinform them, always appear unsure by saying “I don’t know, maybe this or that”.

And what if I tell them them the wrong answers and they grow up believing the wrong facts? I couldn’t bear that responsibility.

11:57 am

“It’s getting very dark and scummy. We must be close to Leeds now.”

12:13 pm

We have arrived!

Leeds has plain industrial-looking buildings interspersed with old Victorian buildings.

It must be a lot colder here. More people are wearing thick leather or fleece jackets here than in Bournemouth.

12:25 pm

The boys have to go to a company lunch, leaving us girls to our own devices. It’s still too early to check in.

What do girls do when left on their own?

Answer: Shopping.

Well, Ellie needs to buy a dress and shoes for the dinner, so that can’t be helped. Talk about last minute, lol.

I hope we don’t get lost. The shopping area is big and crowded.

3:05 pm

We didn’t get lost. Ellie is ace, leading us safely to the hotel. We’ve had our lunch and we’re finally able to get to our rooms.

We’re staying at The Met, Leeds. It’s a smallish hotel with smallish rooms but it looks quite posh and businessy.

The boys are at a company seminar thingy so I’m going to rest a bit now and then get ready for tonight!

Over and out.