I haven’t been gaming the past couple of weeks due to work and some upheaval in my life, which I will talk about in a separate post soon.

So, I just want to share this e-mail I received today from an online game site which I used to play at but haven’t for a long time.

It’s the best advertising “spam” I’ve received. Kudos to the guy who wrote this.

Subject: Are you there, Sheylara? It’s me, Kingdom of Loathing.

Dear Sheylara,

Okay, I’m not good at this kind of thing, but I feel like I have to give it a try. So, here goes:

I was hanging out the other night, listening to some old mp3s, and I was just overcome with memories of when we used to hang out all the time. Remember? You were an intrepid, fearless adventurer, and I was the free-to-play, fun-and-funny online role-playing game that won your heart. Do you still remember those good times? I can’t stop thinking about them.

I mean, I know things got kind of messed up at the end, and believe me, I’m sorry. If I could take any of that back, I totally would. And I know people grow and change, and you’re not the same person you were then, but hey — I’ve changed, too! I thought and thought about how to win you back. I figured I’d make you a mix CD, but I couldn’t decide what “our song” was. So I just concentrated on becoming a better game for you, and here’s what I came up with:

Remember how much fun you used to have with your clan? Alternately, remember how you never joined a clan because you didn’t see the point? Either way, clans now have clan dungeons, group zones where your whole clan can work together. Crawl through sewers to Hobopolis, a vast underground vagrant vacation vista! Slide into the slime tube, and stir-fry sassy slimes!

I know I wasn’t the prettiest game when we were together, so I had some work done. Almost every interface got an interface-lift. You can even manage most of your inventory via chat commands! I also came up with a way for you to automate some of the things you don’t love about the game, so you can spend more time with the parts you do love.

Not only that, but there are way more animated .gifs than there were before. Don’t worry; I haven’t lost that low-fi edginess you love, but I’m a lot easier to play with now.

You can also have a custom title now, just in case you didn’t feel like I appreciated what made you unique as an individual.

I should also say
Haiku Dungeon’s been revamped.
See what I did there?

Maybe you quit because you got sick of always adventuring above the water. I admit that seems unlikely, but I fixed that, too — there are a bunch of underwater zones with new food, equipment, mechanics, and challenges.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, trust me. I’m still the silly, clever, deceptively-complex game you fell in love with, only with about 95% more awesome.

So, I’m just sayin’, if you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, I won’t disappoint you.

If you don’t drop by, I promise I won’t bother you again. I just really felt like we deserved one more try.

Love,

The Kingdom of Loathing.
http://www.kingdomofloathing.com

Good afternoon! My name is Sheylara. I shall be your host today and show you another random bunch of photos from Seoul for my amusement.

I meant for your amusement.

This is me and my dearest friends. They’re my dearest friends because they put up with my rubbish. But I shan’t tell you what rubbish. ;)

These steps lead to the attic, as you have already seen in my earlier pictures. I would like to have an attic in my future house.

Gyeongbokgung (Palace). Every hour every day (according to our palace guide), they play out some kind of “Entering the Palace Ceremony” so you’ve got all these actors in court official costumes waiting outside the palace grounds for the signal to proceed.

It’s kinda amusing seeing these waiting ancients juxtaposed against the modern city landscape on the other side of the road.

On our way to the palace, we came across a couple of trees receiving life support. We didn’t quite know what to make of them.

To be honest, the palace ceremony was very boring. A commentary in four different languages (I think Korean, Japanese, English and Chinese) accompanied the rituals but we couldn’t get much out of it because the sound was quite distorted and the English accent was hard to understand.

The only really fun thing to do in the palace was taking photos.

I kept thinking the actors playing the palace guards and officials must be really bored having to stand around all day maintaining poker faces while tourists shamelessly crowd around them to pose for photographs.

You can see modern buildings peeking over the palace walls, lol.

Some parts of the palace are quite peaceful and romantic. Nice for romantic strolls with loved ones, especially with the nice autumn weather, cool yet sunny, that we experienced while there.

Me. :)

We had lunch at a quaint cafe with an artistic air. Seoul has tons of cafes like this. Love them!

Fooooood.

Serviettesssssss.

I had this basil olive oil pasta. Wasn’t salty enough but the fragrance was there.

A plastic surgery ad in the Seoul subway.

Wang Wang and Nanny Wen both say this photo is obscene. Obscene meh? Just eating a stick of sausages only wat.

Okay, I am now suitably amused. I hope you are, too.

Until the next time. This is Sheylara signing out!

Synopsis

Sheylara is a bimbo who enjoys shopping, playing games and Facebooking. She’s always late in paying bills because she thinks banking and accounting are tough, boring tasks. But she will soon find out how wrong she is!

Cast of Characters

Previously

Cutie Prime succeeds in convincing Sheylara that paying bills through Breeze on the iPhone is fun. A delighted Sheylara sends her first eCheque — to herself. She also finally pays her phone bills and Cutie is relieved.

Chapter 3: Wishes do come true

“I’m bored!” declared Sheylara suddenly one afternoon, “I want to do something fun!”

Startled, Fluffy the 2nd jumped. The screensaver that had been idly scrolling on her screen flicked off as the pretty Macbook blinked in consternation.

“Let’s play a game, Fluffy!” said Sheylara.

Fluffy replied, “Let’s log in to Breeze and I’ll show you something cool.”

Sheylara frowned.

“It’s good for your soul,” said Fluffy.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No. C’mon, you’ll see.”

“Fine…”

With that, Sheylara whooped and ran around in circles in excitement. The thought of shopping always got her going.

“What can I buy today?!” she asked, barely able to contain herself.

“You can buy your Juicy Couture sunglasses.”

“Woooooooot!”

Sheylara was out of the house in five seconds flat.

This time, she remembered to grab Cutie Prime on her way out.

“Cutie Cutie I’m going shopping!” yelled Sheylara happily.

“Right, right, what else is new,” yawned Cutie.

“OH NO!” Sheylara suddenly cried out.

“What, what?!”

“I don’t have enough cash on me!”

“Then go get some.”

“What a bummer. I don’t remember where the nearest ATM is.”

Cutie Prime’s eyes brightened as she remembered something.

“What now, Cutie?” inquired Sheylara. The girl always thought her silly phone was a little bit too melodramatic for her own good.

“Cutie, you are brilliant!” cried Sheylara.

“Well, it’s not all me,” said the iPhone shyly, “There’s Breeze. It does all the work.”

“Alright, alright,” conceded Sheylara, “You ladies have got me. I love Breeze, okay? It shall be my handy companion forever and ever!”

Cutie blinked. “What about me?” she said, still shy.

“You’re my sexy mobile secretary, remember?!” laughed Sheylara.

So, the happy bimbo did her shopping and bought her stuff and danced her dance and then lived happily ever after with Fluffy the 2nd, Cutie Prime and Breeze.

Well, stories have got to have a happy ending, don’t they?

Even if they’re about banking.

The End.