The following post first appeared on Sheylara.com on May 27, 2004.

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Klutzy things I did in the past 24 hours:

1. Spill tartar sauce

I was opening a tub of tartar sauce at McDonald’s yesterday when I somehow managed to topple the whole tub so I got tartar sauce all over my fingers and on the food tray. Yech!

2. Bruise myself

Someone at home placed a marble stool in the middle of nowhere. I knew it was there because I saw it last night but, earlier today, I was thinking about what cereal to eat and didn’t look where I was going so I walked right into it.

I was carrying two boxes of cereal at that time and almost fell over, but luckily managed to steady myself in time.

I only ended up with a killer bruise on my right knee instead of a smashed face. The stool is one of those heavy monstrosities which, if you try to kick it, you will break your toes, so I count myself lucky.

I think I should start a klutz column on my website. Maybe a klutz community. Maybe there are other klutzes like me around and we can all commiserate together.

For now, I shall cheer myself up by showing off pictures where I appear normal and non-klutzy!

I was at California Fitness last night. I had planned to attend a Body Combat class but I was a bit late and the class had already started, so I decided to go on the exercise bike, instead.

MAN! How can people go on these things??

My butt hurt like heck after only 15 minutes of it. Yeah, not my legs, my BUTT! I felt like my tail bone was going to sprout sharp spikes and tear my backside apart.

I persevered for 35 minutes before I finally had to stop. And then I had to waddle like a duck for the next 20 minutes.

Maybe it was just the wrong type of bike. I shall try the other bikes next time because I like exercise bikes. You can read while you’re exercising, which I think is the epitome of cool.

I also like sitting in front of the computer all day because it reduces my klutz factor. I mean, how many things can you spill/break/totally devastate when you’re simply sitting there typing away?

The worst things I can do while at the computer is spill food on my keyboard. Which reminds me. It’s really time for me to get a new one. I don’t know how many microscopic communities are now living beneath the keys.

How unsettling.

Shopping List:

1) Computer microphone
2) Keyboard
3) New boobs

KIDDING!!

No, I am not obssessed over boobs, I swear. That was to rile Chong because he hates it when I pretend to be obssessed over my breast size.