I sold my soul to the devil today, when I swore never to do it again.

I’m speaking metaphorically lah, what is wrong with you?

I mean, what is wrong with me. Sorry.

The devil has a three-letter name. Its name is J.O.B.

And I don’t mean a job like an acting job or a writing job or a modelling job or a temp job like I’ve been doing in the last few years, allowing me to live a relatively free-spirited life with no serious obligations.

I mean a J.O.B. with a regular salary and CPF.

So, now, I’m staring at my PC monitor, wide-eyed, heart thumping, awash in a stupor of disbelief.

Okay, I actually did that for 15 minutes.

But that’s about all the time I can spare for frivolous self-indulgences. Because I have a J.O.B. to do.

Alright, I shall stop stringing you along before you get tired of being strung along and decide to leave.

So. I have agreed to be the editor of a new publication. (I think I’m not allowed to say what it is yet.)

*cue shocked gasps of breaths*

C’mon, humour me.

That was my old occupation, being an editor. I was an editor in a newspaper, a magazine and a web portal. But I quit eventually because I wanted to act and didn’t want to be tied down by a regular job and I didn’t like the stress of that job.

I swore never to go back to the grind. Over the years, I rejected several related job offers.

So, why did I accept this offer?

Because it’s a very small publication and I got the impression that I’ll just need to spend like four days a month working on it.

Because it’s gaming related and sounds vaguely fun.

Because I need to re-oil my marbles.

Well, I figured that it won’t kill me to give up four days of my life each month.

And then I had a serious meeting with my boss-to-be and I started getting the idea that the job is much bigger than I expected and that I may have to spend a lot more than four days a month.

But, by then, I couldn’t back out anymore because I was hooked by the challenge.

And the money.

Which is not much, really, but the promise of extra monthly income is very attractive to someone who hasn’t been getting much of a regular income in years. (But which really shouldn’t even be a consideration considering that I’ve been happily living an income-less life all this while.)

You can tell I’m confused. Can I plead duress?

Anyway, just like that, I’m back on a payroll.

While the job will have fun elements, it will also bring the kind of unwanted stress which drove me away from my old career in the first place.

For example, I have exactly two weeks from now to work out my editorial direction and publish the first issue.

And I already had my year nicely planned out with exciting personal projects to keep me awfully busy.

But now I’m going to have to rework my priorities. Give up a few things. And get used to the fact that I don’t own myself 100% anymore.

Sure, it’s not a full-time job in that I have to sit in an office 22 days a month. I’ll just have to go for meetings and work mostly from home, but the stress will be full-time.

An editor’s job is 24/7, I suddenly remember my ex-ex-boss teaching me. It doesn’t matter the amount of time you’re doing the physical work of putting the publication together, you’re constantly monitoring trends and news and thinking six issues ahead while you work on the current issue.

I’m starting to wonder what I just signed up for.

The devil got me. After all these years.

My mouth literally dropped when I saw this. And then I couldn’t stop laughing.

This is at the same time the smartest and stupidest invention anyone’s come up with.

Behold!

Isn’t this just jaw-droppingly stunning? Haha.

The purpose of this invention is to provide “privacy, warmth, and concentration in public spaces”. I can’t believe these people are serious.

You can see more examples of this invention here. I think they look freaky.

I found out about this from a link that Chong sent me. Here, go check out this post. The comments made in there are really funny!

Feeling a little chilly and up for some porn, anyone?

Ninja Gaiden fanboys are probably gonna want my blood for this, but I hope they will wait patiently for the game’s release in June. That game’s gonna satisfy all bloodlust, I assure you!

Here’s a photo of me playing Ninja Gaiden 2 on the Xbox 360 in a small office room in Microsoft:

Well…

That’s all I can photograph. Haha. I wasn’t allowed to photograph or film the game, but that’s nothing new since we all know that Team Ninja enjoys weaving its shroud of secrecy and Microsoft enjoys playing along with that.

So, here’s another photo showing the same thing. *lol*

I have to be very honest. I’ve never played any of the prequels, so I quite sucked at playing NG2.

But I’ve watched the Goonfather play Ninja Gaiden. I enjoyed watching the blood and gore fly fast and furious and I enjoyed laughing at him when he got pwned or when he fell down trying to scale impossibly tall walls.

The Goonfather hates me for getting to play the game instead of him. Wait, that came out wrong. I mean, the Goonfather is immensely jealous that he doesn’t get to play the game because he is a #1 Ninja Gaiden fanboy.

Actually, he’s a #1 fanboy of countless games. He’s so greedy. But it kinda helps me because whenever I don’t want him to bug me, I’ll just have to remind him gently, “Hey, Zhao Yun is waiting for you in Dynasty Warriors,” and he’ll be like OMG OKTHXBYE.

It’s great having a gamer partner.

Back to Ninja Gaiden. I love Ryu Hayabusa! He’s so so so cool!! I have a ninja fetish, don’t you know?

The version we got to play in the Microsoft office was the almost complete build. Ninja Gaiden 2 opens with Ryu Hayabusa on the roof of a building in Sky City Tokyo. It is late in the night and he’s set upon immediately by black-clad men.

That really proved a challenge to me because Ryu is also in black (although his arms are bare, unlike his foes).

Because the action is so fast, I would fight halfway and lose track of Ryu and then I’m just mashing buttons not knowing where I am and whether I’m doing the hitting or being the hittee.

Told you I never play before lah!

But it was really fun and it gave me a thrill to get multiple hits in a row and see the blood spray. Yeah, yeah, bloodthirsty.

We get sticker name tags when we visit Microsoft. So cool!

I was at Microsoft to get briefed on the Ninja Gaiden 2 launch campaign, which will involve me dressing up as a ninja. Cool or not?! Shhh, don’t tell people. It’s a secret!

So, while we were there, we were shown the game and allowed to play it to get a feel of it. How nice of the Microsoft events people!

Can’t wait for the launch! If you want to take part in the event and win some cool Ninja Gaiden 2 premiums, go camp this page (have to register and log in) and wait for updates!

Or you can keep checking back at my blog for updates because I will certainly be blogging about it. At least you get to read fresh content here every day and not just see the same old teaser page day after day. Heh.

My friends and I did a really crazy thing last Saturday. We went to Sunset Grill & Pub and ordered the level 10 buffalo wings.

If you’ve never heard of the famous spicy buffalo wings at Sunset Grill, you really need to do some soul searching!!

Okay, I’m kidding. I’ve actually never heard of it myself until a few months back. But it’s apparently quite famous even though it’s situated in the most ulu part of Singapore.

If you’ve tried it yourself, then you understand the magnitude of our daredevilry that night!

Sunset Grill is famous for its buffalo wings. And it’s actually very tasty. Sour, tangy, spicy, very appetite-inducing. It comes in different levels of spiciness, going up to such high levels that you’d have to be crazy to try to beat the record (level 30).

According to our waitress, if you can finish a plate of level 30, they will put your photo on their wall of fame and pay for your wings. (You can recruit up to two other people to help you finish all six wings.)

We played safe at first and tried the level 1.

The level 1 is very yummy and just nice in spiciness.

Then we tried the level 3.

I decided that level 3 was as high as I ever wanted to go.

But the guys started daring each other.

“If you can finish a whole plate of level 10, I’ll pay for everyone’s dinner tonight.”

“If you can finish a whole plate of level 30, I’ll buy you Rock Band.”

“If YOU can finish a whole plate of level 30, I’ll buy you dinner every time we go out for the rest of your life.”

After two hours of wimping out, we finally decided to share a level 10 plate.

LOOK AT HOW RED AND COATED WITH CHILLI FLAKES IT IS!!

I swear to you, it’s 10 times worse than it looks.

Here’s a photo of it taken without flash.

Looks so deceptively friendly and delicious, doesn’t it??!!

Wang Wang was unanimously voted to be the first guinea pig.

I decided to take a picture with her first… for remembrance.

She takes a bite…

And…

It’s so horrible that she drops her cutlery!

Bwahahahaha!

I was up next. I volunteered, cos I’m crazy.

First, a photo for remembrance.

Cut a piece and sniff it cautiously.

Oooh… nasty.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!!!!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

The torturous spiciness kicks in slowly.

After the first bite, you will feel a warmth spread over you. You might start perspiring mildly.

After the second bite, you will feel your eyes start to sting as tears threaten to embarrass you.

After the third bite, every pore you own will start raining liquid.

You take a drink or ten to put out the fire on your burning tongue.

Then you take a rest.

AND THEN IT HITS YOU.

Your tongue feels like it’s being barbequed alive and ten thousand little men are pricking it with ten thousand little pins.

You keep drinking and drinking and drinking till you’re bursting but the pain keeps coming back. You feel like disowning your tongue! Chop it off!

After eating three bite-size pieces, it took me about 20 minutes to sufficiently recover and feel ready to take more bites.

And then I only ate the inside and tried to avoid the skin.

But even the inside was spicy!!

After a few more bites, I gave up altogether and left the chicken wing half uneaten.

NOBODY FINISHED THEIR WING. Hahahahaha!!

And then the guys started daring each other again.

“Finish your wing and I’ll pay for your dinner.”

“Finish your wing and I’ll buy you a PSP.”

Hahaha. Crazy buggers. Nobody took up any dares. It’s that bad.

They started asking each other stupid hypothetical questions.

“Would you rather finish your wing or drink a cup of smelly longkang (drain) water?”

“Would you rather finish your wing or eat a 10-day-old dead rotten fish?”

“Would you rather finish your wing or [censored]?”

Most of the time, the other alternative won.

I think the level 10 chicken wing isn’t for eating. The spice is so strong that all you can taste is the bitterness of the spice, which makes the wing not tasty anymore. It’s more for the novelty of trying something crazy and watching your friends suffer horribly. That’s kinda fun.

I don’t regret trying it, even if I did suffer horribly and the lvl 10 wings cost $3.80 each.

For normal people, I’d recommend level 1.

For people who love spicy food, I’d recommend level 3.

For people who like spicy but not too spicy, I’d say go for level 2.

If you’re suicidal, go for level 30.

Our waiter told us that level 4 onwards is horrible.

And now you’ll want to know how to get there.

The address:

Sunset Grill and Pub
140B Piccadilly, Seletar Airbase

You probably won’t be able to find it, so I found a nice map for you. Check out this page. Uncle Takumi reviews the place as well as provides directions and a map!

How nice of him!

Stupid conversation between the Goonfather and myself.

We were in the car, driving out to dinner, when he asked for a piece of tissue paper. In my usual clumsy way, I accidentally pulled out two pieces instead of one. I blamed him because it’s fun to blame the Goonfather.

“See lah!! You made me pull out two pieces!” I said.

Of course, blaming people doesn’t solve problems, so I considered my options.

Use the extra piece myself? Don’t need it.

Stuff it back into the packet? Feels a bit unhygenic.

Make a tissue hat for the Goonfather to wear? Naaah.

My best solution, I decided, was to pass the problem on to the Goonfather. Haha!

“I’m going to put the extra piece in your pocket,” I said. “You can use it to wipe your mouth after dinner.”

But as I was about to stuff the tissue into his shirt pocket, I noticed that he had some dollar notes sitting inside.

“Argh, I can’t put the tissue in here. You have money inside.”

“What’s wrong with money in my pocket?”

“Money is dirty,” I informed him.

“…,” he said.

“If the tissue paper touches your money, it will become dirty, too.”

“Why is money dirty?” he wanted to know.

“Cos it gets passed around from person to person so you don’t know where it’s been. I’ve been taught since young to always wash my hands after handling money.”

The Goonfather was speechless for a moment, so I pressed on.

“If you rub the tissue and money together, then you wipe your mouth with the tissue, it’ll be like wiping your mouth with money. You wouldn’t wipe your mouth with money, would you?”

“I wouldn’t wipe my mouth with money because I couldn’t afford it,” the Goonfather said. “People say money is dirty because they can’t afford to use money as tissue paper.”

The conversation had taken a ridiculous turn and I didn’t even know what I was arguing anymore.

I said, “But even if you could afford to wipe your mouth with money, you wouldn’t!! Paris Hilton wouldn’t wipe her mouth with money.”

“That’s because money is too cheap for her to wipe her mouth with,” was his explanation.

“But it’s not a matter of price. Nobody, no matter how rich or how poor, will use money to wipe their mouths.”

“That’s because poor people can’t afford to and rich people can’t be bothered to.”

“But it’s not about money! It’s about hygiene. And practicality! Money isn’t even absorbent. Would you wipe your mouth with a gold bar?”

“I would if I had gold bars sitting around.”

“Why would you use gold bars to wipe your mouth when tissue paper is better?!”

“Because I can afford to.”

“How the hell do you even wipe your mouth with a gold bar in the first place?”

“I’ll mash it all over my face and lick it.”

“YOU ARE DAMN DISGUSTING!!”

I put the loose tissue paper into my bag, which was probably about as hygenic as putting it into the Goonfather’s pocket.

Finally, the tissue paper was used to soak up spilled water at the dinner table before we even started eating, much less encounter the need to wipe our mouths.

So, in the end, all that trouble was for nought.