[Hamster Tales Part 2]

Day 2
Thursday, 27 Dec 2007

They sleep through the whole day.

They sleep through the whole evening.

It’s worrying. I wonder crazily if they’ve died of trauma.

My pets have no name yet. They keep hiding in the basement and I can’t see them clearly enough to name them.

I cannot touch them, either, because all the hamster guides say I have to let them settle for three days before interacting with them. But I inadvertently rouse them at 9 pm because I need to change their water and open their wheel for business.

The Goonfather had said not to allow them access to their wheel until they’re toilet-trained because he doesn’t want them to poop in the wheel.

But I think what the heck. They need their wheel or they’re going to stay in bed for the rest of their lives.

For toilet-training, I had given them a little toilet hut and put toilet sand into it, supposedly to make them poop in there.

After one day, there’s no poop in the toilet hut. But there’s poop in the food dish. The Goonfather picks the poop pieces up and throws them into the toilet hut.

I hope they get the idea soon.

I let them get used to my scent by letting my hand linger in the cage for a minute. I try to tempt them with a tiny piece of dried fruit but they’re not interested, so I let them alone.

At 1 am, the Goonfather turns off the bedroom light to go to bed. I’m still at my computer doing stuff.

15 minutes later, I hear a sound coming from the cage. I get up to investigate.

Awwwww. My widdle hamster has discovered the wheel.

I do a quiet celebratory hop and dance, and squeal in excitement soundlessly so as not to wake the Goonfather.

I am choked up with joy and pride even though a hamster running on a wheel is about as unremarkable as kilometre-long Toto queues during Chinese New Year.

But I don’t think my reaction is all that melodramatic. After all, I haven’t seen them move from their bed for 24 hours.

I sit there and watch my cutie get used to the wheel. She start-stops every few seconds as if trying to learn how to manage the wheel. After 10 minutes, she gets tired and retires to the basement.

I go back to my computer.

At about 2 am, I hear another sound and rush to the cage.

Both of them are at the wheel.

I want to scream with happiness. I want to wake the Goonfather so he can witness it but he has to work tomorrow.

I sit there for an entire hour watching them share the wheel. It’s so cute I’m dying from cuteness overload.

I am amazed that I can just sit there and stare at them for over an hour without feeling bored.

Once in a while, one of them will come out of the wheel to sniff around, drink some water or groom herself.

I feel compelled to sit there and not ever go away because I don’t want to miss any single moment of cuteness.

But I finally reluctantly leave them to go to bed because it’s already past three in the morning and I need to sleep.

I guess there is always tomorrow.

Tomorrow: Squabbling Sisters

Geez, it’s New Year’s Eve and I didn’t realise it until three hours ago.

I hate the new year.

New years give me the feeling that I must tie up every loose end before the year ends or risk being eternally damned. But that’s impossible to do because my life is made up of loose ends.

I suppose it’s all very psychological. I mean, there’s no reason at all why I have to tie up any ends. After countdown, it’s just another day and it’s very quickly back to status quo. The only difference would be you have to remember to write 08 instead of 07.

That’s why I hate the new year. It makes me nervous for nothing.

I don’t want the year to end. I haven’t accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish. New years remind me that I’m getting older and I still haven’t done anything I feel proud of.

I mean, I’m happy on a day-to-day basis. I enjoy each day as it comes. I’m kinda happy to be bumbling along. I feel proud of my tiny daily accomplishments.

But the whole sociology of celebrating new years forces me to take stock of my entire life, reminds me that I’m still sucky same old me and that I haven’t accomplished any grand thing in 2007. Nor 2006. Nor 2005. Nor 2004. Ad infinitum.

Oh, gosh.

Why do people celebrate new years?

Something is wrong. If you’re looking forward to and celebrating a new year, it means that the old year had sucked so you can’t wait to jump into the new year. If it didn’t suck, wouldn’t you want to hold on to it and not let it go?

So if you’re celebrating, I assume that your year sucked. If you celebrate every year, I assume that your whole life sucked.

So, some people use new years to resolve to do better the next year. It’s like a chance to start over anew, maybe. They make resolution lists.

But these things don’t work. When will people start to realise this? If you’re gonna do something, you’ll do it. If you’re not gonna do it, you’ll never do. Lists can’t change people any more than slimming teas can zap away fats.

Ironically, I like countdown parties, for the simple fact that they’re parties. I party for the sake of partying, not to celebrate the dawn of a stupid day which is just like any old day except people dress it up and stick a fancy label on it.

But there’s no partying for me this year. I’ve been so stressed out stressing over tying up loose ends (key phrase being “stress over” and not “tie up”) that I haven’t had time to make any party plans. Anyway, the Goonfather has to work tonight from 8pm till 8am to tie up his company’s loose ends.

I think I’ll just stay home this year and quietly mourn the passing of the year.

Goodbye 2007.

[Hamster Tales Part 1]

Day 1
Wednesday, 26 Dec 2007

It’s 8:30 pm. I’m at the Goonfather’s sister’s home and I have a shoebox in front of me.

I have waited so eagerly all day to meet my new darlings, a gift for me.

I have a pretty pink cage all ready for them, with everything they’d need for the first few days, at least.

Anticipation makes me quiver. My new pets are inside the shoebox and I can’t wait to lift the lid and see what they look like. I open the box. Aww. My little pretties are scampering about in the box, cute as cookies. I hold one of them because I’m expected to.

But I put her back after a minute because I read on the net that hamsters need a few days to settle down after being moved to a new home before they’d trust their new owner.

I bring my princesses home.

I have no choice but to touch them again because I need to move them into their Pink Princess Castle. It’s difficult to pick them up because they’re so skittish.

Once in the castle, they start exploring. I speak to them softly, welcoming them to their new home. I offer them a milk cookie to make up for the stressful housemoving. One of them sniffs her way to me and starts nibbling on the cookie.

My heart melts instantly. I refrain from squealing with joy. I let go of the cookie gently because I think she has a grip on it. But she doesn’t. The cookie falls onto the floor. She skitters off.

I pick up the cookie and try again.

This time, the other one comes and takes a nibble. She puts both her paws on the cookie.

Awwww.

There is no sweeter thing on earth to experience than this. I let go because I think she wants to hold the cookie. Once again the cookie falls.

Doh.

This happens a couple more times and then they’re tired of the cookie and stop coming to me.

I think it’s time to leave them alone. I put the roof of the cage on and latch it shut.

My little babies explore their new home for 10 more minutes, then settle into the purple triangular dish I set out for them to use as a bed. I want to give them a covered bed but it won’t fit into the basement of the pink castle.

But I’m thrilled that they’re using the purple dish. They snuggle together into it and promptly fall asleep, remaining in that state for the rest of the night.

Coming tomorrow: Two Hamsters and a Wheel

Here’s a video of me and my friends having fun with the PS3 (and eating donuts)!

Sorry if some parts are very dark. The video was taken indoors, mostly with the curtains drawn because when I tried to let in some light, the Goonfather complained that he couldn’t see his game. And dark got even darker after YouTube’s compression.

But I think it’s still watchable lah. Turn on your audio because the song is nice!

Hope you enjoy it. :)

Meet Baby, who is supposed to be a doll, but who is a little warped because she has detachable eyeballs velcro’ed onto her face.

Timothy (in the half-arsed Santa suit) is pretending to have a baby because that’s what actors do when they have nothing better to do.

Shuzhuang helps with the delivery because she has nefarious thoughts cooking up her pink sleeves.

She’s eating the eyeballs!

Timothy feels sick. But that’s okay because he has tissue paper for a beard, which can double up as a barf bag (or at least be used for cleaning up).

Shuzhuang finds it amusing to force Timothy into cannibalism.

Starving actors can be quite ridiculous.

When poor Baby is gone, her eyeballs become a toy.

Ahem!

Eyeballs can be used as earrings.

Or they can be used as eyeballs.

Duh.

To decorate boxes.

Pose for pictures with.

It’s fun to play with eyeballs!

Can you come up with your own use for eyeballs?

Thanks to Sean Koh (not in pictures) for creating Baby and letting us abuse her.