Work work work work work bleh

It’s been only two days since I started my temp office job, but it feels like I’ve been working for two months already. I feel so exhausted.

I have no stamina for office work. Only two days and I need a holiday already!

Why, why, why, oh why do people have to work for money to survive? Life is so sad.

I’m always wondering about people who hate their jobs but stick to it for years, with no hope of ever having a different future. How do they find the motivation to go on, day after day? Why do they even bother carrying on with life when all they’re doing is dragging their feet through the days and waiting for death?

Oh. I suddenly remember the recent spate of MRT deaths. I suppose that answers my question, somewhat.

I’m not depressed or anything. Not much, anyway, because I’m actually angry.

I’m angry that I can’t get to do what I want to do in life, even after I’ve worked so hard and so long for it. I’ve been working for it and waiting for it since I was 15.

History will write me off as a sad, nameless statistic so I might as well not have been born at all.

Zillions of people before me have been written off as sad, nameless statistics. Why did they even bother?

Well, if I had to force it, I could come up with a HUGE list of blessings in my life. Yes, I know how to count my blessings and I am really optimistic deep down inside by default (since I can’t kill myself, I might as well be optimistic).

But, you know what, bottom line, all the little blessings are meaningless when I’m faced with the horror of my unwanted existence.

Oh, well, time for bed.

Then yet another day of blah.

On and on and on and on and on and on.

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10 thoughts on “Work work work work work bleh

  1. Frankly, I think that temp office jobs offer the most shitty work. Usually it’s something really really tedious, boring, manual, repeatitive, and unfit for the perm staff that they had to hire someone in to clear it. Rest assured that normal office jobs, though can be tedious at times, have it’s own perks ;)

    Oooops… Seems I’m rubbing salt in wounds rather than consoling you.

  2. Well, it depends on how you view your job.
    I am still wondering if I am working in right industry.
    At least you get to do something that you really like. (of course, i am not refering to your temp job)

  3. We all need moolah to survive and unless we are able to, sadly we do all sacrifice a bit of ourselves to eke a living out in our respective jobs. I do not believe there is that one job where you love every aspect of it. For me, I love many parts of my job but there are the parts that I detest too which make me want to move on elsewhere.

    Temp jobs are just temp jobs – oft overworked and underpaid. But there are experiences that you can glean from there too. Tangible and intangible. That might stand you in good stead down the road. Anyway, you might make a friend or two at work =) Bear with it and it will be over in a jiffy. You will then be back to what you enjoy doing most!

  4. Alvin: Haha. Oh well, but the good thing about temp jobs is that I know it will come to an end soon. :P To me, normal office jobs are scarier because it’s permanent.

    Sunny: I don’t always get to do what I like. Not enough, anyway. :P If I were truly able to do what I like, I wouldn’t have to take up boring temp jobs. :(

    Dennis: Yeah, I agree. Every job has its ups and downs. And I know I have to grin and bear it… but three months is LONG. :P I know I told myself I need to take a break from showbiz for 2 or 3 months, but I keep getting tempted to go for auditions. O_o

  5. i wonder which is worse…knowing what you want to do in life but can’t get to do, like in your case or not knowing what to do n just do whatever job just to survive in life…

  6. 3 months *tick tock tick tock* It will pass fast because it is chock full of holidays like Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year. The celebratory air will help ease you through. Do not fret too much. As for auditions heh… If the itch gets too unbearable, you can scratch a while and feel ‘SHIOK’ *guffaws* But do not scratch too much, else the skin breaks =)

  7. chris: Hmmm… I think the first is definitely worse. :P

    Dennis: Yeah, I suppose. The good thing about having a full time job is that weekends and public holidays become all the more precious. Haha.

  8. QY: First 2 days already so tiring? :) How do you feel after one week? If you really want, you should take a break… you could feel better after your break…

  9. Nan: Hmm… ok lah, I think I can survive it. I felt like shit all week, but I’m generally a patient person and if I know there’s an end to the suffering, I will patiently wait it out. The only times I really start to freak out are when I feel trapped in a hopeless situation where I can’t see an end to the suffering.

  10. I used to think that way too when Im working temp jobs. SoooO boring and draggy until i can die. Even if it is not a temp job, as long as its office job and require one to work office time + wear office wear turns me off. Got once i got a full time job but on contract to work for at least 2 months for the beginining, i regretted the very 1st week yet cant quit! Teary and so depress for 2 full month sia. Lucky somehow thru life I got to work in a office enviroment which is pretty good and have passion in the job too, allowing me to see things at a different light. Keep trying ya u never know what u will get, you might like it :p

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