I didn’t think I could get through December. I told the Goonfather that my temp job is worse than most people’s jobs because I can’t surf the net or MSN at work, so I have nothing to look forward to and everything to dread every single day.

It makes waking up at crazy hours in the morning all the more difficult.

But I did get through the month. Of course I did. Everyone gets through the most terrible times, even if they get all dramatic about it and swear that they can’t.

I shall continue to persevere for the sake of my costly singing lessons. By the end of February, I should have earned enough to pay for 26 hours of singing lessons. With nothing left for shopping or vacations or even paying bills. Yahoo.

Anyway, I said I would quit acting for the three months (partly also to take a break from an industry that disappoints me over and over again), but I can’t seem to resist going for selected auditions.

Amazingly, I managed to land myself a role in this short film. With a website looking like that, I just had to do the audition.

So January looks a bit more appealing to me now. I am really excited about the film and the role. Filming will take seven days. Rehearsals, costume fittings and photoshoots will take up more days. I also have to put in time to practise ballet dancing and being pregnant.

Although I can’t surf the net and MSN at my office job, it’s a great job because my employer allows me to take time off work for my acting commitments. So I guess it’s really a good thing that I have this opportunity to earn extra income during the days I’m not being an actress.

Well, life is good if we don’t ask for too much. But I still feel damn pathetic.

I hope you had a better 2006 than I did and I hope you have an even better 2007.

Have a great long weekend!

Categories: Acting Journal
17 Comments »

Since I re-activated my EQ2 account a week ago, I have spent more time creating and rerolling characters than actually playing the game.

After playing and deleting several characters (the main reason being that I kept changing my mind about the character’s name), and losing 80 gold pieces in the process (accidentally deleted a new character to whom I had mailed 80gp from one of my mules), I have finally settled for this one and I’m not going to reroll again cos it’s so tiresome.

I named her Sheyla because Sheylara is taken up by my main character, whom I have no interest in playing anymore but I can’t delete her because she’s a level 54 warden and level 60 tailor and I think the guild needs her once in a while.

I feel kinda sad for Sheylara. She’s now mostly a mentoring-down and tailoring mule.

Echoes of Faydwer is cool. It’s very like World of Warcraft, I suppose to lure WoW fans… which worked on me. Hah.

Okay, I think server maintenance should be done by now. Time to go!

Categories: Gaming Notebook
8 Comments »

Look, ma, brown eyes!

I mean, lighter brown eyes!

I know it’s pretty scary having my big face staring at you like that.

But check out the eye colour. Is it cool or what!

Okay, that’s not a very clear picture because it was taken indoors.

The brown shows up more when I go outdoors and face the sun.

Yah lah, I very sua ku can?

(And I look slightly crossed-eyed because I was holding the camera, like, five inches from my face and staring straight into the camera lens.)

I’ve never worn a single pair of contact lenses in my life. But when Elyxia managed to wrangle a sample pair of disposable tinted lenses from her optician, I couldn’t resist.

Actually, it looks weirder in real life than it does in the pictures. It seems fake if you look at it closely in person.

But it’s still fun. I want to try gray next! Maybe even blue. Nanny Wen has a pair of gray ones and she looks gorgeous in them!

It was scary though.

I mean, it was a piece of cake putting them on, but removing them was traumatising. It took me several minutes of clutching at air with my fingers before I finally felt the lens peel away from my eyes. Eew. For moments, I thought I was going to have lenses stuck to my eyeballs forever.

I told myself I didn’t want to be putting anything in my eyes, ever, for the rest of my life.

But that was last week.

Now, the trauma of lens removing is distant and fading and I’m already thinking of ways to acquire more sample lenses in different colours.

Anyone in the contact lens business?

Categories: Regular Blogs
22 Comments »

It’s been only two days since I started my temp office job, but it feels like I’ve been working for two months already. I feel so exhausted.

I have no stamina for office work. Only two days and I need a holiday already!

Why, why, why, oh why do people have to work for money to survive? Life is so sad.

I’m always wondering about people who hate their jobs but stick to it for years, with no hope of ever having a different future. How do they find the motivation to go on, day after day? Why do they even bother carrying on with life when all they’re doing is dragging their feet through the days and waiting for death?

Oh. I suddenly remember the recent spate of MRT deaths. I suppose that answers my question, somewhat.

I’m not depressed or anything. Not much, anyway, because I’m actually angry.

I’m angry that I can’t get to do what I want to do in life, even after I’ve worked so hard and so long for it. I’ve been working for it and waiting for it since I was 15.

History will write me off as a sad, nameless statistic so I might as well not have been born at all.

Zillions of people before me have been written off as sad, nameless statistics. Why did they even bother?

Well, if I had to force it, I could come up with a HUGE list of blessings in my life. Yes, I know how to count my blessings and I am really optimistic deep down inside by default (since I can’t kill myself, I might as well be optimistic).

But, you know what, bottom line, all the little blessings are meaningless when I’m faced with the horror of my unwanted existence.

Oh, well, time for bed.

Then yet another day of blah.

On and on and on and on and on and on.

Categories: Regular Blogs
10 Comments »

After two weeks of deliberating, I have finally decided to quit World of Warcraft.

To return to EverQuest 2.

Hah. I couldn’t just quit gaming, could I?

I took so long to deliberate because I still think WoW is more fun that EQ2 and I still haven’t gotten sick of WoW and still very much want to play it.

But all my friends have, one by one, returned to EQ2 and I feel compelled to join them. Also, the new EQ2 expansion is kinda cool cos it has a new playable race of cute Fae characters.

How can anyone resist that?

Faes can fly around (sort of) and they can’t ever fall to their deaths. How cool is that?!

Unfortunately, I just started on a temp office job and will be working full time for the next three months. Which means I won’t have much time to play ONE game, let alone two, so I have to choose one or the other.

On a side note, I won’t have much time to blog, either, but I’ll try to blog during server downtimes, which happens every night now because of the new expansion pack.

I don’t think I’m quitting WoW for good. I still want to return to it some day. And I think I’ll get sick of EQ2 before too long. But I have to play it for at least a few months cos the Goonfather paid $70 for my Echoes of Faydwer box so I can play a Fae. He’ll kill me if I quit just after a month. Hah.

Okay. My patch is almost done downloading. TIME TO FLY.

Categories: Gaming Notebook
6 Comments »