Recently, a MediaCorp executive producer complained to me, “You’ve looked the same for years and years. Every time I see you on TV, you have that long, rebonded hair look. It’s time for a change, you know.”

Now, that was quite hurtful because:

1. My hair is not rebonded.

2. It’s not my fault that MediaCorp stylists prefer leaving my hair ramrod straight instead of giving me fanciful hairstyles.

3. I have had many jobs in which I looked totally different. Like in I Not Stupid Too and in that Kao Magiclean commercial.

Now, of course, I did not say all that to the EP because EPs are very busy people and have no time to entertain the whines of struggling nobody actresses. And I’m not being facetious by saying that. I live by that rule of thumb: Never whine or grumble in the face of people to whom you owe your living.

So, I was moved to look into the matter myself.

I went home and activated the folders where I keep the pictures of my past shoots. Then, I made a montage of a hundred versions of my scary face to compare the hair.

Fine. There aren’t a hundred faces here, but it’s close enough.

After making the montage, I was taken aback by the realisation that the executive producer was quite right. I look the same in most of these photos. Whether my fringe is long or short, whether it’s brushed back or windswept or hanging like a curtain, even when it’s all tied up, I look the freaking same.

It’s that horrid limp, straight hair that looks like it’s been painted onto my scalp. (Except in the picture on the 2nd column, 2nd row. That one’s a wig. But, see, even when they put wigs on me, they manage to make me look as similar as ever.)

So. I shall have to do something drastic to prevent people from getting sick of my long, straight, black hair. I’m sure it is very irritating to always see me looking the same on screen. I myself feel irritated by it. I’ve had long, straight, black hair since I was two years old.

At various points of my life, I have made attempts to change my hairstyle but, unfortunately, it always grows back long and straight.

So, this time, I shall cut my hair really short and colour it and maybe end up with something like this:

The only problem is that I’m always in-between jobs and auditions and I can’t cut my hair until I totally have no projects lined up and I haven’t been to an audition in the last two months.

Which is quite impossible because I can’t NOT go for auditions. How would I survive?

I am in quite a conundrum, aren’t I?

It is getting very annoying not having a camera.

I didn’t get to photograph the cutest pair of two-day-old kittens when the director brought them to the set of a short film I was acting in.

Can you believe not a single person in the entire crew and cast had a camera? Totally insane. I would think everyone these days would at least have a mobile phone that has a camera feature.

Here I have been thinking I’m the only caveman still carrying a prehistoric Nokia 6100.

So far, two people have laughed my phone in its face for being so ancient. Like, it’s not its fault, ok? I just never had any compelling reason to get rid of it since it’s still working very finely.

But I must say it’s getting more and more embarrassing to be around when it rings because the ring tone capability is so last millennium.

Thankfully, my phone is on silent mode most of the time because my job requires me to not have it ring when I’m working.

Can you imagine at a film set…

Director: Alright, everyone clear? Roll camera!

Cameraman: Camera rolling.

Director: And….. action!

Actor: (Stares lovingly into my eyes) Please forgive me. I love you. It was a…

Nokia 6100: Ti ta di loooo! Da da da ti ta di laaaaA! Dee dee dee doo la dee dee doo la dee dee ti ta di loooo! (Repeat x 2)

Director: What the hell.

Actor: …

Producer: WHO DIDN’T OFF HIS PHONE?!!

Sound guy: Hahaha! The ring tone is so last millennium!

That would be reason for me to disappear into a hole in the ground and grounds for me to disown my phone right away.

So, anyway, I am sad that I don’t have a picture of the kittens. They were so young their eyes weren’t open yet. AND SO ADORABLE! I didn’t even recognise them as kittens at first. They were just balls of fur.

I think it is time to upgrade my phone and buy a camera-enabled one. I refuse to miss another chance to photograph two-day-old kittens. It’s not like you get to see them every day of your life, is it?

The only photo I got out of the shoot is this.

That’s me and my co-star and the makeup artist on the right. The camera used to take this picture belongs to the makeup artist who, most inconveniently, was not there when the kittens were brought in.

Not that I can blame anyone but myself.

Oh, well.

I am my usual tardy self again, of course.

After being away from the blogging scene for so long (I also stopped reading blogs), it’s hard to jump back into it.

But I decided to “blog in” today because I’m going away on a short holiday in 7 hours’ time, and it feels wrong to just leave without a word. A stupid thing to feel since all the world is connected by the Internet, but it’s psychological.

On the acting front, half of me is happy and half of me is sad. It’s strange when you get mixed feelings. You’re confused, you don’t know what to feel, and you get a bit crazy.

I was offered a very nice role, and then I lost it because they couldn’t pay my rate.

On the same day, I got another role, a fun role which I really wanted.

But the happiness is tampered by sadness.

And, on the other hand, the sadness is neutralised by the happiness.

In mathematical terms, this means I should feel nothing.

But emotions can’t be calculated in mathematical terms, so my brain short-circuits from the confusion.

It’s annoying when too many things happen at once. You don’t get to enjoy a situation exclusively because other things demand your attention.

Right now, my full attention has been violently seized by a sick, sadistic video clip I just watched after following a friend’s link in a forum (which I was browsing while blogging).

People should be banned from making sick videos AND linking them.

Damn.

I shall attempt to distract myself from the evil grips of the video by MSN-ing everyone on my MSN contact list and singing the Elmo song very loudly (but taking care to turn off my microphone and webcam first).

Kidding. I don’t have a webcam.

I think I shall read a book.